I killed you in my mind
In so many ways
And I still find it’s a waste
Of time, of energy and tears
Of valueing you for so many years.
A shallow infatuated pompous ass
Full of fears, disfunctional brains
Who judges others just like him
Who thinks he’s God’s gift to women.
But the face falls off when least expected
And what is left is nothing worth it.
You pride yourself in having control
Over your emotions, thoughts and all
But, little creep, in mind you keep
Your turn shall come and make YOU weep.
Rugged memories of shattered dreams,
Emotions walked all over by false pretences.
Moments of joy and love proven deceit,
Eagerly promising eternal bliss,
Mostly because it suited his needs.
Boasting great with little roast,
Evening come, he skipped the boat
Recurrent comings and goings, dementedly so
REMEMBER: What you give, will come back to haunt you and you will have nowhere to go.
I doubt I will ever understand why
God gifted me to you.
I doubt I will ever understand why
You couldn’t cherish the gift of his love.
I would have moved mountains
If I had the luck
To be truly, so devotedly, loved.
I doubt I will ever see His justice at last
To put you in my place just once, when you expect it least.
You to have the misfortune of your medicine to swallow
See how you feel, what magic trick you have against the sorrow
Someone else makes you go through
Just because they enjoy using you.
See how you handle being dumped
Right after they showered you with love.
I doubt I will ever see the fairness God should be.
When God decided
You should be born
It didn’t mean you’ll have what you need.
For some, he gifted people and things,
For others, altruism, loneliness and pain.
Good people who do not do harm
He decided should be resource to others to use.
Those who are unable to cherish his gift
He rejoices in like with his prodigal son.
When God decided what your fate shall be
You had no choice
And you struggled in vain.
He may have something good in store for you as well
But you may expire until you get there.
And if ever your needs should be met
You’re too old the joy of the moment to count
Too tired of waiting a lifetime for what others always had.
Valentines are for others
Who never felt the truth,
Who had no love in their hearts,
Who never wanted YOU.
You said the words
But still walked away.
I gift you my tears
On Valentine’s Day.
I look at my SELF in the mirror and I feel proud
My behaviour shouts me out loud.
The words describing me won’t be praise
Truth, honesty, empathy, love to give out I was raised.
I’m different from all those I got to know and did me harm
Who used my good nature then, suddenly, forgot the charm
The magic of being truely loved
May they never get another chance from God.
I stopped giving out my soul
People tread on it like it were dust.
I stopped hoping there’s left
Some decency in a world of lying and mistrust.
I stopped praying coz it seems
God has forgotten me like you… feels
Futile to hope in vain
Solitude is the only gain.
Late at night i cried my heart
Sleepless dozens of nights i prayed you might
Grow a soul by the morrow
So that i haven’t drowned in vain in sorrow.
The morrow came mute as you are
The story ended without good bye.
You stole my life and killed your love one day
Like a coward, deaf and dumb,
Forcing me to become…numb.
I have been your creation for half a century now
Led my life in honesty and love, it’s all i know how,
Of people who used me, then dumped me in such cruel way
Never wanted riches, humble was my every day.
You gifted me and left me to dry
The pain made me bitter, i wished to die.
You may not like it but shouldn’t be surprised
That, when you torture good people, they lose faith in Thy.
It’s only natural to give in when they beg you in vain.
You should love all your children the same.
I’m done begging and have one wish left:
That i shall get used to the loneliness.
One of the few
Who trusted you true.
Looonnnngggg waiting of something that never happens or happens so late you cannot enjoy it.
Infinite hope that if you do your best and are the best you can be, your needs will be fulfilled.
Fortune playing tricks on you and your life never being a choice you failed to make.
Endless dissapointment in God and humanity.